Gray long sleeve t-shirt: Paix, remixed * Cardigan: Rodarte for Target, remixed * Pants: The Mexican Shop, remixed * Oxfords: Kmart, remixed * Belt: thrifted, remixed * Scarf: Forever 21, remixed
I think it's time to tell the saga of my stolen lunches. Bear with me, as some of you have heard this over on Twitter, but this is a story that must be told. I bring my lunch to work almost every day. Of course, I miss a day every now and then, but there's usually a sandwich, or leftovers, or fruit and a granola bar waiting for me at noon. A week ago I decided to indulge myself and buy bagels and cream cheese with lox for my lunch. The first day that I did this, I was having a terrible day at work. I had forgotten something, I was in a rotten mood, but I just knew my bagel would turn my day around. Now imagine my surprise when I went to get my delicious lunch from the fridge and it was GONE! I looked everywhere for my bagel, and tried to detect remnants of it in the trash, but it was no where to be found. We had a bagel thief on our hands.
Fast-forward to this week. I've brought lunch on multiple days since that dark day of the bagel theft, and each time, though I was nervous about it, my lunch has remained intact. What the hell, I thought, I'll risk it with the bagel again. So again I brought my delicious bagel and cream cheese sandwich to work, in an obvious from-home bag. Noon rolls around and, highly anticipating the lunch I had missed out on last week, I dash to the fridge. Now, you probably see where this is going, and yes, the bagel was gone. Again. Only this time, it had been taken out of its grocery bag, but the bag had been put back in the fridge. As if to say, "oh no, there was never any bagel in here. You're going CRAZY." Which, to be honest, I almost did. I felt a lot like Ross. With that empty plastic bag just staring me down, daring me to lose my shit, I knew that this was more than just a single accidental lunch switcheroo. This was a nefarious, malicious lunch-napper.
What makes this all so perplexing is that there are three people in my office. THREE. And I know that neither of the other two people ate my sandwiches. One is vegetarian, and would have to be a bit of a masochistic klepomaniac to steal a smoked salmon bagel two times. And the other always goes out to lunch and was positively irate when she found out about the bagel thief. So, the question remains, who took my bagel??? And who, for the love of all things delicious, would steal somebody's lunch (and the same lunch) twice??
So, it's been a rough week, guys. I'm bringing another bagel (my last) in to work today. Suffice to say it will be marked with all kinds of threatening notes, and possibly armed with a bear trap. I may also put one of my part-time workers on 24-hour watch (and before you ask, no, it wasn't her. We already fake-fired her to see if she would crack).
Title song: Ben Harper, "Steal my Kisses" (there are no songs about lunch thieves)
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