Fashion is ... Personal Style

For the first installment of my "Fashion is..." series of guest posts, I am beyond thrilled to bring you Sally of Already Pretty. Sal is wonderful (this is, I'm sure, old news to most of you). Sal has inspired me in countless ways, and is one of the most beautiful, kind, and caring women I've had the pleasure of calling my friend. I'm honored that she was willing to write this post for me (and for all of you!). Enjoy.

I struggle every day to love my body. I write giant bloggy treatises encouraging women to embrace their natural selves, celebrate their unique beauty, and be true to their instincts, and I write them on a daily basis. But in addition to doing so as a means of expanding the societal definition of beauty and teaching women that they needn’t look like stick insects to feel amazing, I do so for myself. I do it because I need constant reminders that I am not unsightly, unattractive, unlovable. And since I’m generally too proud to fish for compliments, I generate those reminders on my own. I am writing letters to myself as much as I am posing questions to others.

The other subject that I write about on a daily basis is personal style. Once again, I do this because I know so many women who feel stylistically lost and long for friendly, supportive guidance. But I ALSO do it for myself. Before I began exploring my style, thinking hard about which garments actually flattered my figure as-is, and learning to love clothes instead of fight them, I truly hated myself. My looks, my body, everything physical about me infuriated and repulsed me. And, at some point, I realized that I was spending an inordinate amount of energy hating myself and decided I could find better uses for that energy. Since I was sick of unsuccessful attempts to change my body, I focused on changing how I presented my body. I focused on fashion, and was transformed.

The cycle of self-loathing is inextricably linked to the cycle of self-neglect: Feel bad, look bad, feel worse, look worse, and on and on. But I’ve found that a cycle of self-love can be perpetuated by a cycle of self-care. If you feel awful about how you look and allow yourself to LOOK as awful as you feel, you spiral down. But if you feel awful about how you look and work against that negativity - beautifying yourself with the tools you have at hand - you spiral up. The cycle of self-care feeding self-love creating more self-care allows you to broadcast a profile of self-respect and power. It reminds you that you can control how you feel about yourself. I have firsthand experience with this phenomenon, so I can attest to its effectiveness.

Personal style is considered by many to be frivolous, unimportant, wasteful, shallow. But I am not exaggerating when I say that unlocking my personal style taught me how to finally see and acknowledge the beauty in my body, just as it is. Yes, I still struggle to love myself fully and wholly, and rely on my blog to discuss those struggles with like-minded women. But without the explorations of figure, form, and flattery that personal style has provided me, I’d still be wrestling alone with my loathing instead of examining my tastes and motives and creating dialogue around them. I’m grateful to have learned so much about my inner self through expressive dressing, and amazed to find that exploring fashion has set me firmly on the path to self-acceptance.

Thank you, Sal! You have been one of my inspirations from day 1, and a major reason why I have fallen in love with this online world of style and support.