She's Like All the Rest

Shirt: thrifted * Dress: Old Navy * Cardigan: H&M * Fur stole: thrifted * Headband: UO

I really got the full spectrum of reactions to this outfit. At our local natural foods co-op, I was knowingly appraised as the happy hippie girl. At the more suburbanly-patronized Walgreens, I got a few awkward stares. Joe stayed quiet about the whole thing, though I think his general sentiment was that it was a bit on the crazy side for his tastes (he's really more of a jeans and t-shirt kind of guy). I wore this on Sunday, unintentionally dressing a bit like a flapper or '20s movie star for our Oscars party, at which I was told I looked "retro chic". This outfit was an absolute hands-down favorite for me, winning Best Remix in my 30/30 Oscars. I'd like to thank the Academy...

I adore the contradictions that maxi skirts and dresses lend to outfits. At once dowdy and quietly sexy, they toe the line between old-school ideas of what women should wear (long skirts, and good luck if you happen to show an ankle), and Hollywood glamour. The maxi skirt is, I think, a piece that both embodies feminine sensuality and creates a barrier against it. The perfect outfit to wear, I suppose, in the post where I talk about feminism. I'm woefully late to submit this to Fashionable Academic's call for papers on what a feminist looks like, but I want to write it all the same. I've written a few posts already about various aspects of feminism and feminine labeling within fashion, and have had a guest post on the topic of gender assumptions in fashion as well. But I've never appropriately voiced what I think makes someone a feminist. I'm sure this post will fall short as well, but it might be a good start.

I was raised in a household where gender was not an issue. Happily ensconced in late 20th century feminism, my sister and I were raised to believe that there was nothing in the world we couldn't do. We were girls, but that didn't define us. We would become women, but that would not dictate who we were or what we could do. We each went through substantial phases of wearing primarily boys' clothes (hers was a much cuter tomboy phase when she was pretty young, and mine was smack-dab in the middle of my already fairly awkward middle school years), and we were never faced with the idea that those choices were questionable or wrong. We both knew, from day one, that the world was completely open to us, and that we could do, or be, or have, or love, anyone or anything that we chose. I don't know that I even understood what feminism was until I was older, since there was literally no sense of inequality or social stratification within our world. We were incredibly lucky, I understand that, but I'm infinitely grateful to that formative experience, since I think it shaped the way that I understand myself, women, feminism, and gender roles. In short, to me, feminism simply looks like a society where all people have the ability and freedom to choose their own path and their own destiny, without any societal roadblocks keeping them back.

That's all well and good, of course, until those roadblocks do spring up and try to keep you from achieving certain things, simply because of your gender. Certain careers are still made for men, and women have to fight to be given the same time and consideration as their male counterparts (my sister is starting her career in a field like that, and though I have every confidence that she will be the most badass successful person there ever was, I know that her challenges will be different as a woman than they would be as a man). Pay inequality is still very real, and societally-created and enforced senses of division are still prevalent. We were naive, perhaps, to think that our world of equality and justice was all there was, but it's still a world that I cling to, and one that has shaped me irrevocably. A feminist fights those roadblocks, and tears them down, so that current and future generations of men and women (yes, feminists can fight for men's rights too) can pursue and explore whatever choices they feel are right for them. Each person, regardless of his or her sex or gender, should have the opportunity to pursue a life that fulfills their goals. I can do anything you can do. He can do anything I can do. You can do anything she can do. In my vision of feminism, there are no wrong choices, there is no "must do", "must achieve", "must be better than" attitude. And to me, this is the real key.

There is talk, occasionally, about the issue of women pursuing "traditionally" "feminine" roles in society. Can a stay-at-home mom be a feminist? Can a woman who doesn't pursue a career really say that she believes in the feminist mission? I think that one of the risks of the kind of feminism that I grew up with is the risk of creating a new type of gendered social order and hierarchy, where women who do not pursue high-powered careers are considered weak, old-fashioned, and subservient. As Millie put it, we grew up in "a generation of women who, as Courtney Martin succinctly put it (I paraprase) were told 'you can do anything' and heard 'you have to do everything'." Anything short of everything can be considered feminist failure. I'm adamantly, and passionately, opposed to this. Women absolutely, without a doubt, can do anything they want, and can be anyone they choose. So can men. But nobody should be anything or anyone that isn't right for them. It's a brave, wonderful, powerful thing to choose to be a stay-at-home mom. Any woman who does so, and any man who chooses to be a stay-at-home dad, is not shirking her duties as a feminist woman. She is making a choice to pursue the life that she desires, and I would defend her choice to do that with the same fervor I would for a woman who pursues the life of a high-powered executive. It's the freedom to make that choice, and pursue that chosen life, that is how I define feminism.

I hope I didn't lose you all with this post. I know it got quite wordy, but it's a topic that I find absolutely fascinating, and incredibly important. I so appreciate that women in the blogging world are opening this conversation, and exploring what feminism is to them. It's conversations like these that remind me of the power and intelligence of all of you, and solidifies what I already know: that fashion blogging is a lot more that a group of superficial girls sharing what they wear. It is a medium to forge friendships, engage in dialogues, and establish meaningful relationships with an incredible group of like-minded people.

What does a feminist look like to you? Are you a feminist?

Title song: Bob Dylan, "Just Like a Woman" (I have no idea what this says about my idea of feminism, but it's been in my head all week, so I'm going for it.)